The Loss
by Another Writer Who Loves
Summary: 9x19 Alex Annie Alexis Ann Episode Coda in which deals with the blood loss Sam suffered from the vampires.


Dean paid no attention to Sam in the passenger seat as he got back into the car. He could see Jody in the rearview mirror watching them leave and he waved at her once more before he pulled away from the cabin and back onto the road.

He paid no attention to Sam who was turned away from him as well, staring out the window and not saying a word.

If that's how Sam wanted it to be then fine, Dean was more than okay with it being like this. He had said so himself, he didn't want to be partners and he had no problem if something happened to him so therefore, Dean didn't care either.

The entire ride back home they were quiet, Dean had turned the radio on sometime during the ride but then even the music made the air stifling and he had to turn it off.

And still Sam refused to say even a single word, the stubborn ass that he was.

Reaching the bunker Dean didn't even wait for Sam to get out of the car, getting out himself and going towards the kitchen, his mind already going to the ipod in his bedroom that he wanted to get to. He had downloaded a new album and he needed to listen to it, hopefully it was loud enough to drown out every other noise in the bunker.

He was halfway to the kitchen when suddenly he realized, Sam hadn't followed him. Turning he couldn't even see a hint that he had even left the garage.

Feeling a sudden shot of worry he hurried back to the garage, his footsteps echoing throughout the hallway and skidding back into the garage.

Only to see his brother still slumped against the window of the passenger seat of the impala.

Rushing over Dean opened the door and barely caught his brother as he fell out of his seat towards the ground.

"Sam? Sammy?" Dean said shaking him slightly.

Sams skin was clammy to the touch and he realized in horror at how pale he looked. His hand grasped for Sams wrist and he pressed his fingers to his pulse point, cursing when he realized how weak the pulse was.

His lips were tinted blue and his eyes were open however Dean could tell that he didn't really see him, nor was he aware of anything around him.

The blood Dean realized, he suddenly remembered the buckets of blood that the vampires had taken from Sam until he was barely able to even lift his head, needing Deans help to get into the basement where Jody and Alex were being kept.

His brother hadn't been quiet during the ride, he had been unconscious from blood loss while Dean had sat right there next to him, inches away and too wrapped up in his own thoughts to even think that there was something wrong.

His brother could have died right next to him and he wouldn't have known until hours later when he realized that Sam hadn't moved.

Gritting his teeth Dean moved Sam enough so that he could bring him into his arms completely, picking him up. Sams head lolled back and forth slightly against Dean's chest, otherwise he didn't move or object to anything Dean did.

Cursing under his breath Dean carried Sam to his own room, it was closer to the garage than Sams, and carefully he placed Sam on his bed.

"Sammy?" Dean asked, sitting down next to him and reaching out to tap his cheek. "Sammy c'mon, answer me."

There was no answer and Dean growled something under his breath. Getting up he quickly moved to the front of the bunker to grab their first aid kit and then back to the kitchen to grab another cooler from the second refrigerator, hurrying back to his room.

Sam hadn't moved, he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, and he kneeled down next to him once more.

"Alright Sammy." he murmured, opening the first aid kit and starting an iv line. He opened the cooler and pulled out a packet of blood. They had come home often enough times that they had started to create a small blood bank for themselves.

He connected the iv line to the bag and with surprisingly steady hands he pressed a needle into his brother as well. He held the blood bag up and watched as it slowly started to make its way into Sam.

Swallowing hard Dean couldn't help but reach out and take Sam's hand in his, moving so that he could press his fingers to Sams pulse point, counting each heart beat out in reassurance. Despite how unsteady and weak it was it was there and that was enough for him, it was enough to know that his brother was still alive. He held the blood bag up higher and took a deep breath.

It's all been feeling off ever since they had managed to get rid of Gadreel and now they had the mark to deal with as well. They hadn't been able to be partners or even brothers ever since then and he hated it. Hated how it made him feel and how it made him feel as if he was empty, more empty than usual.

He had always been able to count on Sam, even through their ups and downs in the past. And he knew that he had screwed up with Gadreel but he had been desperate, he had been seconds away from losing his brother and he couldn't handle it.

He just also wasn't sure how to make things better. He was honest when he said that he couldn't apologize, it had saved his brothers life he had no desire to apologize for it. He regretted when Kevin died, the kid hadn't deserved it, but once again, so long as his brother was alive and alright, he didn't care who he had to sacrifice to do so.

Logically he knew that when Sam said that they couldn't be who they were anymore it was mainly hurt, he knew Sam was hurting and he couldn't blame him, but the result had hurt him too.

Kevin's ghost, the kid had seen everything as a ghost, had asked them to stop fighting and to put things aside and he wanted to, god he wanted to, but he wasn't sure how to deal with it and how to stop the fighting.

He just wanted his brother back, watching his blood slowly move back into him, and he took a deep breath, wanting his brother to wake up and maybe he'd finally talk to Sam, get things out and-

His hand tightened on the blood bag and for a moment the mark burned in his hand.

No, he had no reason to apologize for a single damn thing that he had done. Everything he had done was good and it had a reason for it. And if Sam couldn't see that or understand that, then it was his own damn problem.

Once the blood bag was almost empty and color had slowly returned to his brothers face Dean brought the bag down and slid the needle out of his Sams arm, watching a small drop of blood well up from the prick.

He stared down at the blood and felt his hand start to shake once more, reaching out to smudge at the blood. Pressing down on it made more blood slowly start to escape and he felt the pounding in his head start to get faster and louder.

A small sound escaped Sams lips and that made Dean freeze, snapping his hand away from his brothers arm.

Quickly he stood up and walked out of his own room, snatching the ipod from his nightstand just as Sam opened his eyes, his own name on his brothers lips.

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